View source for IA-009

{{ArticleInfo
|date-iso=1887-08-09
|date=9 Aug 1887
|title=Das Gewitter
|title-en=The Thunderstorm
|paper=Luxemburger gazette
|city=Dubuque
|state=IA
|type=T
|words=1430
|ref=MCW2
|source-link=https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84027101/1887-08-09/ed-1/seq-2/
|source=''Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers'', Lib. of Congress
}}
<div class="row">
{{ArticleImage
|file=IA-009
}}
{{ArticleNote
|content=The following article is a shortened version of Mark Twain's sketch [[McWilliams Lightning]] which was published in ''The Atlantic Monthly'' in 1880 ([https://www.zotero.org/groups/4437667/mtxdigital/items/R8AN85X4/ 46:275, 380-384]).
}}
</div>
<div class="row">
<table class="wikitable translationTable">
<tr>
<th>Transcription</th>
<th>English Translation / Original Text</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><strong>Das Gewitter.</strong></td>
<td><strong>The Thunderstorm.</strong></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Unter diesem Titel veröffentlichte der bekannte amerikanische Humorist Mark Twain eine amusante [sic] kleine Studie, die wir zum Theile hier wiedergeben wollen.</td>
<td><span class="translationInsert">{This is the title under which the famous humorist Mark Twain published an amusing short sketch parts of which are featured below.}</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Mr. Mac. Williams, der einigermaßen unter dem Pantoffel seiner schönen Hälfte seufzt, hat im Sommer mit Frau und Kindern einen Landaufenthalt genommen in einem niedlichen Cottagehäuschen der Bergregionen von New-Jersey. Er schildert selbst die Scene, welche er eines Nachts während dieser Villegiatur mit seiner Gattin verlebt.</td>
<td><span class="translationInsert">{Mr. McWilliams, who suffers to some extent under the thumb of his wife, has taken a summer vacation in the country with his wife and children in a charming cottage in the mountainous regions of New Jersey. He describes the scene that he experienced with his wife one night during this summer retreat.}</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><span class="translationOmission">⟪Well, sir, - continued Mr. McWilliams, for this was not the beginning of his talk; - the fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women; but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes in a man. It is a particularly distressing infirmity, for the reason that it takes the sand out of a person to an extent which no other fear can, and it can't be reasoned with, and neither can it be shamed out of a person. A woman who could face the very devil himself - or a mouse - loses her grip and goes all to pieces in front of a flash of lightning. Her fright is something pitiful to see.⟫</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ich erwachte von dem lauten Ruf: „Mortimer! Mortimer“ konnte jedoch bei der tiefen Finsterniß ringsum Nichts erkennen und erwiederte schlaftrunken: „Evangeline, rufst Du mich? Was gibt es? Wo bist Du?“</td>
<td><span class="translationOmission">⟪Well, as I was telling you,⟫</span> I woke up, with that smothered and unlocatable <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “loud”⟧</span> cry of “Mortimer! Mortimer!” wailing in my ears; <span class="translationOmission">⟪and as soon as I could scrape my faculties together I reached over in the dark⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{but I could not see anything in the darkness around me}</span> and then said <span class="translationInsert">{drowsily}</span>, - “Evangeline, is that you calling? What is the matter? Where are you?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ich bin hier, in dem kleinen Kämmerchen, wo wir das Schuhwerk und die Koffer aufbewahren. Schämst Du Dich nicht wie ein Bär zu schlafen während dieses furchtbaren Gewitters?“</td>
<td>“Shut up in the boot-closet <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “in the small closet where we keep the boots and suitcases”⟧</span>. You ought to be ashamed to lie there and sleep so <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “sleep like a bear”⟧</span>, and such an awful storm going on.”  <br><span class="translationOmission">⟪“Why, how can one be ashamed when he is asleep? It is unreasonable; a man can't be ashamed when he is asleep, Evangeline.”  <br>“You never try, Mortimer, -- you know very well you never try.”  <br>I caught the sound of muffled sobs. That sound smote dead the sharp speech that was on my lips, and I changed it to - “I'm sorry, dear, -- I'm truly sorry. I never meant to act so. Come back and - ”⟫</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ach beruhige Dich nur, es wird nicht so schlimm sein. Du bist immer gleich zu ängstlich...“</td>
<td><span class="translationInsert">{“Calm down. It is not that bad. You always get scared so easily”}</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Mortimer!!!“</td>
<td>“MORTIMER!”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Großer Gott, was ist denn nur los, mein Täubchen?“</td>
<td>“Heavens! what is the matter, my love <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “my dove”⟧</span>?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Wie, Du wagst noch immer im Bett zu bleiben?“</td>
<td>“Do you mean to say you are in that bed yet?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ja gewiß.“</td>
<td>“Why, of course.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Steh' augenblicklich auf! Es ist Deine Pflicht, für Dein Leben besorgt zu sein, wenn nicht um Deinetwillen, so doch für Deine Frau und Deine Kinder!“</td>
<td>“Come out of it instantly. I should think you would take some little care of your life <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “it is your duty to take care of your life”⟧</span>, for my sake and the children's, if you will not for your own.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Aber, liebes Kind. . . .“</td>
<td>“But my love - ” <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “dear child”⟧</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Schweig', Mortimer. Du weißt, daß während eines Gewitters das Bett der gefährlichste Aufenthalt ist - das steht in allen Büchern und doch bleibst Du im Bette liegen, blos mich zu ängstigen.“</td>
<td>“Don't talk to me, Mortimer. You know there is no place so dangerous as a bed, in such a thunder-storm as this, - all the books say that; yet there you would lie <span class="translationInsert">{in bed}</span>, <span class="translationOmission">⟪and deliberately throw away your life, - for goodness knows what, unless for the sake of arguing and arguing, and - ⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{just to scare me}</span>”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Aber, zum Geier! ich bin ja gar nicht mehr im Bett, ich bin....“ (hier wurde meine Rede durch einen hellflammenden Blitz unterbrochen, dem ein lauter Schrei von Mrs. Mac Williams und ein heftiger Donnerschlag folgte.)</td>
<td>“But, confound it, Evangeline, I'm not in the bed, now. I'm - ” (Sentence interrupted <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “my speech was interrupted”⟧</span> by a sudden glare of lightning, followed by a terrified little <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “loud”⟧</span> scream from Mrs. McWilliams and a tremendous blast of thunder.)</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Jetzt siehst Du's Mortimer, wie kannst Du Dich unterfangen, in einem solchen Moment zu fluchen.“</td>
<td>“There! You see the result. Oh, Mortimer, how can you be so profligate as to swear at such a time as this?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Aber ich habe ja gar nicht geflucht.“</td>
<td>“I didn't swear. <span class="translationOmission">⟪And that wasn't a result of it, any way. It would have come, just the same, if I hadn't said a word; and you know very well, Evangeline, - at least you ought to know, - that when the atmosphere is charged with electricity -⟫</span>”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Wie kann man so lügen! Und Du weißt doch, daß kein Blitzableiter auf dem Hause ist, und daß Dein Weib und Deine Kinder keinen anderen Schutz haben, als den der göttlichen Vorsehung und Barmherzigkeit. Was thust Du denn da? Ich glaube, Du streichst mit einem Zündholz an der Wand. Du bist wohl verrückt?“</td>
<td>“Oh, yes, now argue it, and argue it, and argue it! <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “how could you lie like that!”⟧</span> <span class="translationOmission">⟪I don't see how you can act so, when⟫</span> you know there is not a lightning-rod on the place, and your poor wife and children are absolutely at the mercy of <span class="translationInsert">{divine}</span> Providence <span class="translationInsert">{and Mercy}</span>. What are you doing? - <span class="translationInsert">{I believe you are}</span> lighting a match at such a time as this! Are you stark mad?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Nun was soll denn das schaden? Hier ist es ja so finster wie in einem Backofen.“</td>
<td>“<span class="translationOmission">⟪Hang it, woman,⟫</span> where's the harm? The place is as dark as the inside of an infidel, and - <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “the inside of an oven”⟧</span>”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Lösche das Zündhölzchen sofort aus, hörst Du? Du willst wohl unser Leben gefährden? Du weißt doch, daß Nichts den Blitz leichter anzieht, als das Licht!“ (Schschsch, zing, zing, bumbum, burumbumbum!) „Hörst Du? Du siehst, was Du angerichtet hast?“</td>
<td>“<span class="translationOmission">⟪Put it out!⟫</span> put it out <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “put out the match”⟧</span> instantly! Are you determined to sacrifice us all <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “endanger all our lives”⟧</span>? You know there is nothing attracts lightning like a light. (Fzt! - crash! boom - boloom-boom-boom!) Oh, just hear it! Now you see what you've done!”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ich sehe gar Nichts. Vielleicht ist es möglich, daß ein Streichhölzchen den Blitz anzieht, aber nur nicht, wenn es einmal gezündet hat.“</td>
<td>“No, I don't see what I've done. A match may attract lightning, for all I know, <span class="translationInsert">{but not if it is struk once?}</span> <span class="translationOmission">⟪but it don't cause lightning, - I'll go odds on that. And it didn't attract it worth a cent this time; for if that shot was levelled at my match, it was blessed poor marksmanship, - about an average of none out of a possible million, I should say. Why, at Dollymount, such marksmanship as that - ”  <br>“For shame, Mortimer! Here we are standing right in the very presence of death, and yet in so solemn a moment you are capable of using such language as that. If you have no desire to - Mortimer!”  <br>“Well?”  <br>“Did you say your prayers to-night?”  <br>“I - I - meant to, but I got to trying to cipher out how much twelve times thirteen is, and -” (Fzt! - boom - berroom - boom! Bumble-umble bang - SMASH!)  <br>“Oh, we are lost, beyond all help! How could you neglect such a thing at such a time as this?”  <br>“But it was n't 'such a time as this.' There was n't a cloud in the sky. How could I know there was going to be all this rumpus and pow-wow about a little slip like that? And I don't think it's just fair for you to make so much out of it, any way, seeing it happens so seldom; I have n't missed before since I brought on that earthquake, four years ago.”  <br>“MORTIMER! How you talk! Have you forgotten the yellow fever?”  <br>“My dear, you are always throwing up the yellow fever to me, and I think it is perfectly unreasonable. You can't even send a telegraphic message as far as Memphis without relays, so how is a little devotional slip of mine going to carry so far? I'll stand the earthquake, because it was in the neighborhood; but I'll be hanged if I'm going to be responsible for every blamed - ” (Fzt! -- BOOM beroom-boom! boom! -- BANG!)⟫</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Aber ich bin überzeugt, daß es irgendwo eingeschlagen hat. Ach! ich fühle, daß wir den Morgen nicht erleben werden....Mortimer!....“</td>
<td>“<span class="translationOmission">⟪Oh, dear, dear, dear!⟫</span> I know it struck something <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “somewhere”⟧</span>, <span class="translationOmission">⟪Mortimer⟫</span>. We never shall see the light of another day; <span class="translationOmission">⟪and if it will do you any good to remember, when we are gone, that your dreadful language⟫</span> - Mortimer!”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Nun, was ist denn schon wieder los?“</td>
<td>“WELL! What now?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Deine Stimme klingt mir so entfernt. Mortimer, solltest Du etwa gar vor dem Kamin stehen?“</td>
<td>“Your voice sounds as if <span class="translationInsert">{you are far away}</span> - Mortimer, are you actually standing in front of that open fireplace?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ganz recht, dieses Verbrechens mache ich mich eben schuldig.“</td>
<td>“That is the very crime I am committing.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Dann entferne Dich gleich von dort. Du willst uns Alle wohl umbringen? Ein offener Kamin ist der beste Leiter für den Blitz. Wo bist Du jetzt?“</td>
<td>“Get away from it, this moment. You do seem determined to bring destruction on us all <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “to kill us all”⟧</span>. <span class="translationOmission">⟪Don't you know that⟫</span> there is no better conductor for lightning than an open chimney? Now where have you got to?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Am Fenster.“</td>
<td>“I'm here by the window.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Um Gotteswillen! Hast Du denn den Verstand verloren? Jedes kleine Kind weiß, daß es gewissen Tod bringt, wenn man während eines Gewitters am Fenster steht. Ach! ich sterbe diese Nacht noch vor Angst. Was ist das für ein Geräusch?“</td>
<td>“Oh, for pity's sake, have you lost your mind? Clear out from there, this moment. The very children in arms <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “every little child”⟧</span> know it is fatal to stand near a window in a thunder-storm. Dear, dear, I know I shall never see the light of another day <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “I shall die of fear tonight”⟧</span>. <span class="translationOmission">⟪Mortimer?”  <br>“Yes?”⟫</span>  <br>“What is that rustling?”  <br><span class="translationOmission">⟪“It's me.”  <br>“What are you doing?”⟫</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ich suche meine Kleidungsstücke.“</td>
<td>Trying to find the upper end of my pantaloons. <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “I'm looking for my clothes”⟧</span>”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Der Mann ist wahnsinnig! Wirf sie augenblicklich weg! Du weißst [sic] doch, daß allen Autoritäten zufolge die wollenen Stoffe den Blitz anziehen. Ich glaube gar, Du singst? Wo denkst Du hin?“</td>
<td>“<span class="translationInsert">{That man is mad}</span> Quick! throw those things away! <span class="translationOmission">⟪I do believe you would deliberately put on those clothes at such a time as this; yet⟫</span> you know perfectly well that all authorities agree that woolen stuffs attract lightning. <span class="translationOmission">⟪Oh, dear, dear, it isn't sufficient that one's life must be in peril from natural causes, but you must do everything you can possibly think of to augment the danger.⟫</span> Oh, don't sing <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “I believe you are singing”⟧</span>! What can you be thinking of?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Was in aller Welt soll denn das wieder schaden?“</td>
<td>“Now where's the harm in it?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Mortimer, ich habe Dir doch hundertmal gefagt, daß man beim Singen eine Lufterschütterung hervorbringt, welche den elektrischen Strom unterbricht. Um's Himmelswillen, weshalb öffnest Du denn die Thüre?“</td>
<td>“Mortimer, <span class="translationOmission">⟪if I have told you once,⟫</span> I have told you a hundred times, that singing causes vibrations in the atmosphere which interrupt the flow of the electric fluid, <span class="translationOmission">⟪and -⟫</span> What on earth are you opening that door for?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Zum Kuckuk, das ist doch zu arg! Ich werde doch wohl eine Thüre öffnen können?“</td>
<td>“Goodness gracious, <span class="translationOmission">⟪woman, is there is any harm in that⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{this is too much! Why would I not be allowed to open a door}</span>?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Nein, das ist der gewisse Tod! Alle Welt weiß, daß man durch Erzeugung von Zugluft den Blitz anzieht. Schließe die Thüre so rasch als wöglich. Ach, es ist zu entsetzlich, in solchen Augenblicken mit einem so thörichten Menschen eingeschlossen zu sein! Mortimer, was machst Du denn da?“</td>
<td>“<span class="translationOmission">⟪Harm?⟫</span> There's death in it. Anybody <span class="translationOmission">⟪that has given this subject any attention⟫</span> knows that to create a draught is to invite the lightning. <span class="translationOmission">⟪You have n't half shut it;⟫</span> shut it tight, - and do hurry, or we are all destroyed <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “shut it as quickly as possible”⟧</span>. Oh, it is an awful thing to be shut up with a lunatic at such a time as this. Mortimer, what are you doing?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Nichts; ich drehe nur den Hahn der Wasserleitung. Es ist so unausstehlich heiß hier im Zimmer; ich will mir das Gesicht waschen.“</td>
<td>“Nothing. Just turning on the water. This room is smothering hot and close. I want to bathe my face <span class="translationOmission">⟪and hands⟫</span>.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ich glaube gar, Du hast nicht ein Gran Gehirn in Deinem Kopfe! Ueber dem Wasser schlägt es stets ein. Laß den Hahn in Ruhe. Es wird mir immer klarer, daß keine Rettung für uns möglich ist, Mortimer. Gott im Himmel, was ist denn das für ein Lärm.“</td>
<td>“You have certainly parted with the remnant of your mind <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “I believe you don't have an ounce of brain in your head”⟧</span>! Where lightning strikes any other substance once, it strikes water fifty times <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “It always strikes the water”⟧</span>. Do turn it off. Oh, dear, I am sure that nothing in this world can save us. It does seem to me that -- Mortimer, <span class="translationInsert">{God in Heaven}</span> what was that <span class="translationInsert">{noise}</span>?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ach, zum Tausend, es ist ein Bild, daß ich herunter geworfen habe.“</td>
<td>“It was a da - it was a picture. Knocked it down.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Dann bist Du also ganz dicht an der Wand; das ist das schlimmste von allen Unvorsichtigkeiten! Weißt Du nicht, daß Nichts den Blitz häufiger anzieht, als eine Mauer? Und Du hast schon wieder geflucht? Das will ein Familienvater sein! Uebrigens, hast Du denn ein Federbett gekauft, wie ich Dich gebeten hatte?“</td>
<td>“Then you are close to the wall! I never heard of such imprudence! Don't you know that there's no better conductor for lightning than a wall? <span class="translationOmission">⟪Come away from there!⟫</span> And you came as near as anything to swearing, too <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “you swore again”⟧</span>. <span class="translationOmission">⟪Oh, how can you be so desperately wicked, and your family in such peril? Mortimer,⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{And you profess to be a family man! By the way,}</span> did you order a feather bed, as I asked you to do?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Nein, ich habe es vergessen.“</td>
<td>“No. Forgot it.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Du hast es vergessen? Das wird Dir vielleicht das Leben kosten. Wenn Du ein Federbett hättest und dasselbe inmitten der Stube ausbreiten könntest, um Dich darauf zu legen, so wärest Du eher in Sicherheit. Komm hierher zu mir in das Kämmerchen, damit Du keine neuen Unklugheiten begehst.“</td>
<td>“Forgot it! It may cost you your life. If you had a feather bed, now, and could spread it in the middle of the room and lie on it, you would be perfectly safe. Come in here, - come quick, before you have a chance to commit any more frantic indiscretions.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ich versuchte zu gehorchen, aber das kleine Cabinet war zu eng für uns Beide, wenn die Thüre geschlossen wurde; ich mußte also wieder heraus.</td>
<td>I tried <span class="translationInsert">{to comply}</span>, but the little closet would not hold us both with the door shut, <span class="translationOmission">⟪unless we could be content to smother.⟫</span> I gasped awhile, then forced my way out <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “I had to get out again”⟧</span>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Mortimer, rief meine Frau, wir müssen aber doch Etwas für Deine Sicherheit thun. Gib mir das deutsche Buch, das auf dem Kaminbord liegt und eine Kerze, zünde dieselbe aber nicht an, sondern gib mir ein Streichhölzchen, ich werde sie hier anzünden. In dem Buche sind alle nöthigen Instructionen zur Sicherheit bei Gewittern enthalten“</td>
<td>My wife called out,- “Mortimer, something must be done for your preservation. Give me that German book that is on the end of the mantel-piece, and a candle; but don't light it; give me a match; I will light it in here. That book has some directions <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “all the necessary instructions”⟧</span> in it <span class="translationInsert">{concerning safety in a thunder-storm}</span>.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ich tappte zum Kamin und fand das Buch, nicht ohne dabei einige Porzellanfiguren und zerbrechliche Dinge herunterzuwerfen, worüber meine Frau entrüstet war. Dann reichte ich ihr das Buch, Kerze und Streichölzchen und sie schloß sich damit ein. Ich hatte nun einen Augenblick Ruhe, aber nicht lange, denn gleich rief sie wieder;</td>
<td><span class="translationInsert">{I tiptoed towards the fire-place}</span> I got the book, - at cost of a vase <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “not without knocking over some porcelaine figurines”⟧</span> and some other brittle things <span class="translationInsert">{which angered my wife. Then I passed her book, candle, and matches}</span> and the madam shut herself up with her candle. I had a moment's peace <span class="translationInsert">{but not long}</span>; then she called out,-</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Mortimer, was war das für ein Geräusch?“</td>
<td>“Mortimer, what was that <span class="translationInsert">{noise}</span>?”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Es ist die Katze.“</td>
<td>“Nothing but the cat.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Die Katze? Das ist ja gräßlich! fange sie schnell und sperre sie in die Schublade vom Waschtisch. Schnell, die Katzen sind so voller Elektrizität! Ich werde Morgen schneeweißes Haar haben, wenn ich es erlebe!“</td>
<td>“The cat! Oh, destruction <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “how horrible”⟧</span>! Catch her, and shut her up in the <span class="translationInsert">{drawer of the}</span> wash-stand. Do be quick, <span class="translationOmission">⟪love;⟫</span> cats are full of electricity. I just know my hair will turn white with this night's awful perils <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “Tomorrow - if I ever experience it - my hair will have turned white as snow”⟧</span>.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Dabei hörte ich sie schluchzen, was mich bewog, mein Möglichstes zu ihrer Beruhigung zu thun. Ich sprang also in dem finstern Zimmer umher, um das Thier zu fangen, dessen feurige Augen mir als Leitstern dienen mußten. Dabei stieß ich an allen Ecken und Tischbeinen an, warf die Stühle um, zerbrach mehrere Kleinigkeiten, erwischte jedoch schließlich die unglückliche Katze und steckte sie in die Schublade. Jetzt ertönten folgende nachdrückliche Worte aus dem Kabinet:</td>
<td>I heard the muffled sobbings again. But for that, I should not have moved hand or foot in such a wild enterprise in the dark <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “It moved me to do my best to console her”⟧</span>. However, I went at my task <span class="translationInsert">{to catch the animal whose glowing eyes had to serve as my guiding star}</span>, - over chairs, and against all sorts of obstructions, all of them hard ones, too, and most of them with sharp edges <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “Doing this, I collided with corners and table legs, knocked over the chairs, broke various trinkets⟧</span>, - and at last I got kitty cooped up in the commode, <span class="translationOmission">⟪at an expense of over four hundred dollars in broken furniture and shins.⟫</span> Then these muffled words came from the closet: -</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„In dem deutschen Buch steht, daß man sich auf einen in der Mitte des Zimmers gerückten Stuhl stellen und die Stuhlbeine isoliren müsse; das heißt nämlich, Du mußt die Stuhlbeine in Wasser-Gläser stellen. Thue das schnell, hörst Du?“</td>
<td>“It <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “The German book”⟧</span> says the safest thing is to stand on a chair in the middle of the room, Mortimer; and the legs of the chair must be insulated, <span class="translationOmission">⟪with non-conductors⟫</span>. That is, you must set the legs of the chair in glass tumblers. <span class="translationOmission">⟪(Fzt! -- boom -- bang! -- smash!) Oh, hear that!⟫</span> Do hurry, Mortimer, before you are struck.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Nachdem ich fast die sämmtlichen vorhandenen Gläser zerbrochen hatte, ließ ich die Sache auf sich beruhen.</td>
<td><span class="translationOmission">⟪I managed to find and secure the tumblers. I got the last four, - broke all the rest. I insulated the chair legs, and called for further instructions.⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{Because I had broken almost all of the tumblers, I let the matter go.}</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Dann kommt ein sehr verwickelter Satz, den ich nicht recht verstehe. Ich glaube, es heißt, man solle während eines Gewitters eine große Glocke läuten. Suche doch die Glocke, welche das Signal zum Mittagsessen gibt, und läute eine Weile damit. Schnell, Mortimer, das wird uns retten! Unsere kleine Sommerresidenz steht auf der Spitze eines Hügels, von dem man ein Thal überblickte. Mehrere Farmhäuser sind in nächster Nähe und eines derselben liegt nur etwa hundert Schritte weit entfernt. Als ich 7-8 Minuten lang zum Fenster hinaus unsere Glocke geläutet, öffneten sich die Läden jener benachbarten Farm und eine Stimme rief: „Was geht denn hier vor? Braucht Jemand Hülfe?“</td>
<td><span class="translationInsert">{“There's a very complicated passage that I don't understand well. I think it says that during a thunder-storm you should ring a bell.}</span> <span class="translationOmission">⟪“Mortimer, it says, 'Während eines Gewitters entferne man Metalle, wie z. B., Ringe, Uhren, Schlüssel, etc., von sich und halte sich auch nicht an solchen Stellen auf, wo viele Metalle bei einander liegen, oder mit andern Körpern verbunden sind, wie an Herden, Oefen, Eisengittern u. dgl.' What does that mean, Mortimer? Does it mean that you must keep metals about you, or keep them away from you?”  <br>“Well, I hardly know. It appears to be a little mixed. All German advice is more or less mixed. However, I think that that sentence is mostly in the dative case, with a little genitive and accusative sifted in, here and there, for luck; so I reckon it means that you must keep some metals about you.”  <br>“Yes, that must be it. It stands to reason that it is. They are in the nature of lightning-rods, you know. Put on your fireman's helmet, Mortimer; that is mostly metal.”  <br>I got it and put it on, - a very heavy and clumsy and uncomfortable thing on a hot night in a close room. Even my night-dress seemed to be more clothing than I strictly needed.  <br>“Mortimer, I think your middle ought to be protected. Won't you buckle on your militia sabre, please?” I complied.  <br>“Now, Mortimer, you ought to have some way to protect your feet. Do please put on your spurs.” I did it, - in silence, - and kept my temper as well as I could.  <br>“Mortimer, it says, 'Das Gewitterläuten ist sehr gefährlich, weil die Glocke selbst, sowie der durch das Läuten veranlasste Luftzug und die Höhe des Thurmes den Blitz anziehen könnten.' Mortimer, does that mean that it is dangerous not to ring the church bells during a thunder-storm?”  <br>“Yes, it seems to mean that, - if that is the past participle of the nominative case singular, and I reckon it is. Yes, I think it means that on account of the height of the church tower and the absence of Luftzug it would be very dangerous (sehr gefährlich) not to ring the bells in time of a storm; and moreover, don't you see, the very wording - ”  <br>“Never mind that, Mortimer; don't waste the precious time in talk.⟫</span> Get the large dinner-bell; it is right there in the hall. Quick, Mortimer dear; we are almost safe <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “that will save us”⟧</span>. <span class="translationOmission">⟪Oh, dear, I do believe we are going to be saved, at last!⟫</span>” Our little summer establishment stands on top of a high range of hills, overlooking a valley. Several farm-houses are in our neighborhood, - the nearest some three or four hundred yards <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “about one hundred paces”⟧</span>  away. When I, <span class="translationOmission">⟪mounted on the chair,⟫</span> had been clanging that <span class="translationOmission">⟪dreadful⟫</span> bell a matter of seven or eight minutes, our shutters were suddenly torn open from without, <span class="translationChange">⟦the translation mentions the shutters of the neighboring farm house being opened first, before the men come running up to the window⟧</span> <span class="translationOmission">⟪and a brilliant bull's-eye lantern was thrust in at the window, followed by a hoarse inquiry: -⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{A voice shouted:}</span> “What <span class="translationOmission">⟪in the nation⟫</span> is the matter here? <span class="translationInsert">{Does anybody need help?}</span>”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Dabei kamen auch schon mehrere Männer mit einer Laterne herzugeeilt und waren nicht wenig erstaunt, mich im Nachtgewand am Fenster stehen und die Glocke aus allen Kräften läuten zu sehen.</td>
<td><span class="translationOmission">⟪The window was full of men's heads, and the heads were full of eyes that stared wildly at my night-dress and my warlike accoutrements.⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{More men came to the window with a lantern. They were surprised to see me in my nightdress ringing the bell with all my might.}</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ich war etwas verlegen und stammelte: „Es ist wegen des Gewitters, liebe Leute. Ich suche den Blitz abzulenken.“</td>
<td><span class="translationOmission">⟪I dropped the bell, skipped down from the chair in confusion, and said,-⟫</span> <span class="translationInsert">{I was embarrassed, stammering:}</span> “There is nothing the matter, friends, - only a little discomfort on account of the thunder-storm <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “It is only on account of the thunder-storm”⟧</span>. I was trying to keep off the lightning.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Das Gewitter? Blitz? Aber, lieber Herr, sind Sie denn bei Sinnen? Wir haben eine prachtvolle stille Nacht und den klarsten Sternhimmel. An Gewitter ist gar nicht zu denken.“</td>
<td>“Thunder-storm? Lightning? Why, Mr. McWilliams, have you lost your mind? It is a beautiful starlight night; there has been no storm.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ich blickte mich um und war im höchsten Grade erstaunt, so daß ich kaum ein Wort hervorbringen konnte.</td>
<td>I looked out, and I was so astonished I could hardly speak for a while.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>„Ich begreife das nicht, sagte ich endlich, wir haben doch vorhin durch die Jalousien ganz deutlich das Blitzen bemerkt und auch den Donner vernommen.“</td>
<td>Then I said, - “I do not understand this. We distinctly saw the glow of the flashes through the curtains and shutters, and heard the thunder.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Die Männer lachten ausgelassen und einer von ihnen erwiderte lustig: „Nur schade, daß Sie nicht die Jalousien aufgemacht haben, um einen Blick ins Freie zu werfen. Was Sie für den Blitz hielten, waren Raketen und Leuchtkugeln und der Donner rührte nur von Böllerschüssen her. Der Telegraph verkündigte um Mitternacht die Ernennung des neuen Präsidenten und da hat man sogleich das Ereigniß gefeiert.“</td>
<td>One after another of those people lay down on the ground to laugh, - and two of them died. One of the survivors remarked,- <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “The men laughted heartily and one of them remarked:”⟧</span> “Pity you did n't think to open your blinds <span class="translationOmission">⟪and look over to the top of the high hill yonder.⟫</span> What you heard was cannon; what you saw was the flash <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “What you mistook for lighting, were rockets and flares, and the thunder was caused by canons”⟧</span>. You see, the telegraph brought some news, just at midnight: Garfield's nominated, - and that's what's the matter! <span class="translationChange">⟦translated as “At midnight, the Telegraph announced the nomination of the new president and the event was cause for immediate celebration”⟧</span>”  <br>  <br><span class="translationOmission">⟪Yes, Mr. Twain, as I was saying in the beginning (said Mr. McWilliams), the rules for preserving people against lightning are so excellent and so innumerable that the most incomprehensible thing in the world to me is how anybody ever manages to get struck. So saying, he gathered up his satchel and umbrella, and departed; for the train had reached his town.⟫</span></td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>